Like a Handprint

I first heard “For Good” when I went with a friend to see Wicked one summer. It became an instant favorite–the emotion, the harmonies–and I listened to it on repeat.

And then one night a few years ago, I was barely surviving the witching hour while waiting for Austen to get home from work. Everett and Eleanor were toddlers running wild, and Henry was having a particularly fussy night, so I turned on some music so we could dance out some energy.

Disney songs, Broadway hits, it was working like a charm.

And then I heard the opening notes to “For Good” for the first time after Nate died.

My eyes instantly welled up, and when it reached the second verse, I fell apart.

It well may be
that we will never meet again
in this lifetime
so let me say before we part
So much of me
is made of what I learned from you
you'll be with me
like a handprint on my heart

Three years later, the grief and heartache still feel fresh. I think they always will. I think that’s the price of love. That’s the price of knowing and loving Nate, who loved and changed me for good.